Ch 1: MC is 11 years old and has never spoken a word.

Ch 2 starts w/ a list of all the things the MC "cannot do." The author saw fit to include that MC cannot "take myself to the bathroom." (Why? No one else goes out of their way to say they CAN...)

"There's nothing cute about a pink wheelchair Pink doesn't change a thing." Great, so she hates the thing that actually allows her to move through the world?

(Quick Google search reveals the author is the mom of a disabled child. Of course.)

MC is described from the outside: "She" and "her." And starts with a giant list of symptoms. Finally, (on page 8) we learn that MC's name is Melody (which, she swears is important, but who waits 8 pages to let the audience know their MC's name?)

Words like mash, scrunch jerk and twitch describe Melody's movements. Still got that outside [ableist] POV, I see… :/

Um how could Melody's mom understand that she liked a song when Melody barely understood it herself? Because she's a human being with preferences. Weird.

TONS of dialogue and description re: Mom and Dad. Melody wishes she could tell them all the things she loves about them. Otherwise, just copious sensory descriptions, and repeated mentioning of all the things Melody remembers from TV etc. :/

Ch 3: Uncomfortably long detail of how Melody tips over onto the rug and has to wait to be "rescued." Mom and Dad somehow think it's feasible to prop her up with pillows to watch TV even though she keeps tipping. She's still small, I know those Bumbo chairs exist! Seriously…

So much detail about Mom and Dad I can't. Who they are. What they like. What they don't. That they fart a lot! Mom apparently has that "Mom sense" that Mel can understand stuff "but even that has its limits." :(

Meanwhile, Mel is memorizing infomercials and news reports. She remembers some blocks have lead in them and tries to alert Mom, who tells her "You are not going to have a tantrum on me." Um, she's not. She's trying to communicate there's a danger.

For a good measure, Mom screams, "What is WRONG with you?" at Mel once they get back in the car. She calls the doc, who prescribes a sedative for then-4-year-old Melody. Mom didn't give it to her bc "the crisis was over by then." Is that supposed to be reassuring?

Ch 4 opens with the R-word, bc Melody copes with docs not knowing how to fix her by "looking blank" and "acting like the R-word they think I am." Um, excuse me? Wow.

We see Melody struggle with the limits of IQ testing bc the doctor cannot adapt to the nonverbal answers she is giving. She shuts down at this point but the author tells us, as Mel, that she puts on her "handicapped face." I can't.

Another R-word dropped by Melody as adults around her assume she can't hear them talking about her in front of her. And in case we didn't get enough of it? Dr. says Mel is "severely brain-damaged" and "profoundly [the R-word.]” (That's 3x so far, if you're keeping track.)

Mom protests Mel has "a real intelligence" but doc says she only thinks that bc she loves Mel. Doc: "She has Cerebral Palsy" as if she cannot possibly possess intellect and have CP...

Doc presents "options". 1) Keep her at home. 2) "Special school." 3) "Residential facility [aka INSTITUTION] where she can be cared for and kept comfortable." He says they can get on w/ their lives w/o her as a burden. That in time, they will forget her. :(

(She is RIGHT THERE! She is 5 years old at this point! And you're talking about how she's a burden. How it's a legitimate option to send a 5 year old away from her parents so she will not be a burden???)

Mel starts to legitly panic here. She looks at Mom, frantic. Her hands get cold. She starts to question if she is a burden. Baby. :(

(At 5 I didn't know the word burden yet, but I did know how it felt to be disliked, teased, mocked and pushed to act as ND as possible.)

Mom goes full SuperParent on Doc. She is NEVER sending Mel to a nursing home! Mom and all the NDs are "lucky" and "blessed" that they can walk and talk. Mel has true intelligence bc "nothing works" for her but she has to adapt. (Okay then, Mom.)

We see precious little of Mel's reaction here, other than a fist bump to Mom and a mention of her hands no longer being cold. So we can gather she's no longer having panic symptoms :( Mom heroically says she is going to enroll Mel at the local elementary school.

Ch 5: We can't even learn about Mel's [self contained SPED] class w/o author's ableism coming through. There is no need to know that a kid wears diapers and how the aides = "so patient" for NOT neglecting a kid and actually changing his pants. :/

We get to see how limited Mel's communication options are. (Several basic words taped to her tray.) It's for a little kid, not updated for an 11-year-old. Also 2 more R-words dropped. One just to say how much she hates the slur??? 5x and counting...

Ch 6: We meet Mrs. V who provides childcare while Mel's parents work. "I don't know how much they paid her but it couldn't have been enough." :/ (Because she's so not a burden, right? RIGHT???)

Mrs. V "gave her no sympathy." Purposely put a toy out of reach and told Mel to roll over. Now we hear from Mel that "I had never actually bothered to try to roll anywhere." (Oh, so it's not that her CP makes her body work differently. She's just lazy.) :/

Turns out she fell off the couch a few times trying to roll, and got hurt, so she stopped. Makes sense. So why phrase it like the author did above and not, "I was scared to roll anywhere bc I fell and got hurt?"

I'm a little horrified that it's taken YEARS for MRS. V. (not her parents) to realize it's time to update her communication board. Adding more words, teaching her music, teaching her to read. Why is neglecting disabled kids so normalized?

Ch 7: Mel (via the author) tells us all things classroom aides do (attend to basic needs) and that she does not think they get paid enough. Should get $1 million bc "what they do is really hard and most folks don't get that." :/

(Disabled kids don't learn they're burdens unless people around them act like it / tell them so. Are the aides complaining about helping? If so, unprofessional. I don't think an 11-year-old would recognize high turnover as "we are hard to take care of.")