I'm an alcoholic and, as of this very day, I've been sober for 365 days. This is hard for me to share because I'm a bit of a private person and I'm also someone who's been known to drink on camera for the amusement of others.

Looking back, some of the more... rowdy BoTW episodes are little highlights for me of my particular drinking problem. Once I started drinking, I had a very hard time slowing down or stopping. It was never just one beer for me, it was a calculated plan to get efficiently drunk.

You see, medically speaking, I'm a very boring alcoholic. I hold my booze very well, I'm a happy drunk, and I always had a plan for safety. I would arrange taxis or rides whenever I was going out because my plan was always to get drunk.

I was never a problem drunk, I never passed out somewhere weird or got into drunken fights. I'd usually wait until after dinner to start drinking... but I'd also drink alone. After the family went to bed I'd usually stay up later just to have a couple more drinks.

My house was the party house because then I could drink more without having to worry about getting home. And I would drink far more than people would realize, both alone and at parties. Part of being able to hold your booze so well is the ability to lie about how many you've had.

I'd make sure to get rid of empties and usually drink the same beer through stretches... that way no one could keep track of how many I had. Drinking, specifically "craft beer" is considered a hobby so I was able to slip right into an "enthusiast" role and no one batted an eye.

Along those same lines, I would go stretches without drinking. I'd make little deals with myself: "I won't drink Wednesday or Thursday... then I can drink all I want over the weekend". I even went an entire year sober to prove to myself that I didn't have a problem....

... but what got me through that year was a secret in the back of my head, that it meant I could drink as much as I wanted after. Drinking, getting drunk was always part of my plans. Getting drunk was controlling my life in a way that I'm just now starting to understand.

This is all stuff that I figured out in hindsight, that's part of the disease. The craving, the wanting, the deceit, even lying to myself was all done unconsciously, naturally. But looking back, large cuts of my life started to become defined by when and how much I could drink

I don't want any of this to sour you on older BoTW episodes, I still re-watch them and think they're very funny and I had a lot of fun making them. And really, some of my favorites I already did sober... I can't believe I got through "Ryan's Babe" without a drink.

This year, specifically 2020, has been difficult. There were nights that I thought about having a few beers just so I could sleep. But the hardest part for me is already over, admitting that I have a problem. Once I started saying it out loud to people, everything became easier.

To anyone who's read all of this, thanks for listening. I'm trying to be honest about my experiences because listening to others is what helped me on my journey to sobriety. it's difficult to articulate the pull my body has toward booze.

Don't want to leave it on a downer so here's a beer joke. A Canadian walks into a bar, he's crossing his legs and looks like he's in pain. The bartender says "What kind of beer do you want.... or do you just need to use the bathroom?" And the Canadian says "Yeah... I Pee, A."

@Harlack Rock on! 🤘One drink was too many and six wasn't enough. 3 years here and each one better than the last. From a forever BOTW fan, I'm so friggin proud of you!

@MegGrimley we're pin buddies!!!

@Harlack Just now seeing this. Congrats on being sober and for being brave enough to say all of this publicly. Keep strong.

@mccomic Thanks for saying so. There's been a lot of good feelings coming my way through this which is breaking into my cynical little heart.

@Harlack Congratulations Jack!

@Harlack no shame at all for admitting this sort of thing dude. Literally no shame, we aren't taught this in school and our parents often don't know how to approach such an issue. I am now 63 weeks sober myself. I look at my past and the mistakes I have made under the influence-

@Harlack So you were sober during shark exorcist AND robot in the family? Damn dude you're unstoppable!

@Harlack One of the weirdest things about the internet is being proud of people you've never met. This is one of those times. Good for you, Jack!

@Harlack From a family of alcoholics, I know how monumental it is to take that first step of saying "no, I am not in control." It is so damn easy to just stay in the deception that it's all your choice, even as you structure your whole life around your next drink. Good on you man.

@Harlack Damn. I always worried about some of you blokes on BotW re the drinking. I'm glad to hear you feel it's under control now. All the best for the future with it. (My fave eps involving you were the ones where I suspected you hadn't been drinking too much.)

@Harlack I never thought I'd tear up while browsing through Jack Packard's twitter account, but here we are. I really hope you know how much of a positive influence you are on so many people. Thank you for sharing your story, it honestly means a lot.

@Harlack And thank you for suffering through Ryan's Babe without a brew.

@Harlack You’ve done great Jack! Thank you for sharing your experience. I’m proud of you. 👍

@Harlack Congrats on your year sober! If you can make it through Ryan's Babe sober you can do anything

@Harlack Thank you so much for sharing this, Jack. A lot of what you say parallels my own experiences. I had 8 years sober until my wife died and I fell off the wagon big time. I remember how much happier I was without booze, though, and want to get back to that point more than anything.

@Harlack Addictions are hard to kick, because they’re rooted in habit and your psychological makeup. It’s not as easy as just “not doing the thing”, you have to work on correcting the hole that thing fills. Good on ya man!

@Harlack Congratulations Jack :) I really emphasized with your story in so many ways! I was definitely in the category of happy drunk that could drink a lot but this last 18 months sober has been great. Keep up the good work and thanks so much for sharing 🤘🏼

@Harlack I stumbled on this tweet today. I'm a huge fan of your work. Thank you for using your platform to spread the message about substance abuse. I haven't had a drink in over four years; it's not always easy, but it helps so much to know people are with you

@Harlack Congratulations Jack, keep it up! We're proud of you, man.

@Harlack Wow, man. I went through something very similar from 2002-2009. Eventually I gave it up for good, and have been sober for many years. It's better.

@Harlack Way to go, man. Takes a lot to put that out there but proud of your progress!