1a. BE BRAVE The process of growth requires facing, enduring and understanding fear. My fears are a guide to the parts of myself that are vulnerable, and that need to be protected or trained.

1b. It is important to regularly examine my weaknesses and train my ability to keep myself safe, physically and psychologically. If I don’t stand up for myself, no one else will, either. Anyone who demands I abrogate my duty to myself is not my friend.

1c. I have a rare ability to keep my wits while surrounded by a hostile mob. I am grateful for this, but it is also a source of loneliness in my life. Conformity requires the sacrifice of self-possession in exchange for the illusion of safety.

2a. I AM I am, fundamentally, an empty, aware, intelligent Void, dancing at the center of the universe. The same is true for every human being alive. This particular center of the universe is a happening called Gabe.

2b. My job is, fundamentally, to love and care for this man, to joyfully advise him, to offer analysis and suggestions for his effectiveness and well-being in the world. I am his parent, his best friend, his spiritual advisor. I love this guy. He’s my guy.

3. EVERYONE IS A WORLD The root of the word "world" is vir-eld, or “the lifespan of a human being.” Everyone experiences and expresses themselves through their unique microcosm of the world. The only way to change the world is to change yourself.

4. SEE FOR YOURSELF Truth is an experience you must seek out for yourself. Accept nothing on authority. Believe the people you trust, but always provisionally. Assume nothing.

5a. THE MAP IS NOT THE TERRITORY My relationship with reality is always mediated by the limitations of perception, representation and interpretation. It is the nature of reality to defy attempts to represent it accurately. Reality can be accepted and understood, never captured.

5b. A wise, trusting relationship with reality, within skillful bounds, yields health and happiness. It can't be controlled. There is no final interpretation. However, interpretations vary in Quality. No one knows the truth, but everyone knows a piece of it.

6a. QUALITY IS FUNDAMENTAL TO REALITY (Thanks, Robert Pirsig.) Quality is the phenomenon that enables human judgment (“self” and “Other”) It is a contextual ground for discernment that makes emotion, thought, concept, representation and language possible.

6b. Like the Tao, or the fundamental nature of reality, Quality itself can not be captured or defined. Quality is the bridge between the classical, or rational-instrumental mode of approaching the world (the “square”) and the romantic, or emotional-creative mode.

6c. An artist is not only visionary, creative and deeply sensitive, but must also be a master of their craft. The felt sense of the presence of Quality is peace of mind. The felt sense of the absence of Quality is anxiety and alienation.

7. THE UNIVERSE WILL MEET YOU IN THE MIDDLE Trust yourself to do your best, trust the universe with the rest. Go with the flow. Do not try to go against it. If necessary, change the flow.

8a. BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD (Still learning this one, over and over.) Speech is action. Communicate as clearly and effectively as possible. What you say must express the truth as you are able to discern it. Integrity is possibly the most important thing that you have.

8b. Don't say anything you're not willing to act on. Don't write checks against future emotional states. Lying creates a living hell for the liar and the listener both. You can learn when you are listening, but not when you are speaking. Silence is noble.

9a. MASTER NONE, AND BE MASTERED BY NONE The only true mastery is self-mastery. It is the height of virtue to master one’s self, and self-mastery is critical to the mastery of other arts. To become a master takes a great capacity for love, patience and concentration.

9b. It is morally reprehensible to dominate or subjugate a human being against their will, whether by force or threats, by economic subjugation, or by tools of social manipulation, control, sadomasochism, and/or emotional or psychological abuse.

9c. The socialization of children is a necessary evil. Great care must be taken not to oversocialize them. You must take great care with your relationship to the tools of social influence, both in the ways you use them, and in the ways you allow them to be used.

9d. The tools of social control include coercion, shame, exclusion, disempowerment, punishment, isolation and many more besides. Be wary of anyone using these tools, whether consciously or not, well-meaning or not. An exception may be made, of course, for consensual BDSM.

10a. TAKE NOTHING PERSONALLY (Thanks, Don Miguel Ruiz.) Whether wholesome and loving, or spiteful and poisonous, the ways in which others act toward you is a projection of their own internal world, and is really about them.

10b. As a dialogic animal, you will incorporate concepts and beliefs held by the people around you. To the extent you are conscious of this, you have the option to agree or disagree with these formulations.

10c. The stronger your self-concept becomes, the less you will unconsciously assume the perspectives of others and the more you may choose to consciously incorporate them into a view of reality that is greater than your own limited perspective could provide.

10d. These boundaries are the difference between the spiritual weakness of affective empathy and idiot compassion, and the real strength required for true empathy and compassion.

10e. The quality of your social skills and self-discipline both depend directly on your capacity for depersonalization. The experience of depersonalization (“the widening of the sphere”) is deeply pleasurable, and worthwhile to practice.

11a. YOUR BODY IS A TEMPLE Health is paramount. You can not live truly and wisely without good physical health fundamentals. Pay close attention to the goings-on of the body - they contain essential information about your well-being that is not otherwise obvious.

11b. Build strong relationships with healthcare providers, and take great care with whom you entrust the care of your health. Instrumentalized rationality confers many medical benefits, but fails as a holistic approach to health. It is important to be strong.

11c. True strength is the ability to be effective in many different situations Strength is balanced by suppleness. The ability to generate force complements the ability to receive, shape and direct it. Train your heart, vigorously and regularly.

11d. Eat food, not too much, mostly plants. (Thanks, Michael Pollan.) Know where your food comes from. Don’t forget that food has unconscious social and emotional valences that are also important to your overall health.

11e. When it is time to feast, feast. When it’s appropriate to eat something delicious and unhealthy, do it with gusto and no guilt. At other times, consume in moderation, so that you don’t dilute the future benefits of a proper celebration. Drugs always come with tradeoffs.

12. LOVE IS AN ART Love is an art. It can be practiced and mastered. Love is like a great, universal rhythm that is always thumping and thrumming in humankind, and I am in it so long as I am with it. I am loved, when I am loved, because I love.