Today from Witchtok: A demon named Ambrose has been wreaking havoc across all of North America, including taking over covens and causing chaos, and tonight there will be a showdown with 24 deities to put him in Tartarus!
y’all i hope you know that i’m the messenger and the not the one preaching this. but anyways hi im also rooting for ambrose
@AuntChaotic Hello, please contact your nearest Orthodox Christian preist to sort the matter out instead. Thanks!
@AuntChaotic This is the Ambrose witchtok is talking about... beware of his true evil!!! /j
@AuntChaotic AMBROSE HIVE RISE UP! NONE OF THOSE DEITIES GOT SHIT!
@AuntChaotic Bad news: the “24 deities” are also demons, if they exist at all. Stop messing with this stuff and believe in Jesus Christ.
@AuntChaotic Let's go Ambrose 🙏
@AuntChaotic If one demon from hell can curbstomp 24 """deities"""" of yours why in the world are you not Christian when by word Christ commands the demons?
@AuntChaotic damn that sucks just say Abra kadabra or some shit I bet that will work. or yknow just shoot it.
@AuntChaotic daaaaaamn, you're really trying to do my boy ambrose dirty
@AuntChaotic Deities: “Yeah man we gotta throw Ambrose Bierce in Tartar Sauce or something idk”
@AuntChaotic witch tok kinda sounds like a YA novel sometimes
@AuntChaotic I thought he went by Jon Moxley now
@AuntChaotic Pokemon go raids getting out of hand
@AuntChaotic Harry Potter is not real.
@AuntChaotic I feel so left out. I never see this kind of kind of LARPing. I only get to see the regular old moon water and jar spells 😖
@AuntChaotic wait actually? really terrible energy has been moving through my house and causing a lot of confusing, noises and making things fly off my walls and I couldn't figure out what it is (it wasn't any of my usual spirits).....damn.
@AuntChaotic Did somebody cut funding for every after school drama club at the same time?
@AuntChaotic Any update on who won? Would be nice to know if a demon managed to merc 24 deities from the top rope.
@AuntChaotic Just reporting back from the WWG God-Smackdown battle with Ambrose. Dude put up a hell of a fight but then he revealed some tragic backstory and now he just chills with us. He’a joined our mission to stop Yahweh from breaking out of Heaven Prison and ending the world
@AuntChaotic wow cool, now accept the gospel of the Lord God Jesus Christ and stop spouting nonsense
@AuntChaotic Oh dear, the Faux Pagans are LARP-ing again
@AuntChaotic That damn Ambrose
@AuntChaotic nothing a few tabs of Clozapine can’t fix.
@AuntChaotic We gonna break the homie Ambrose out of Tartarus
@AuntChaotic Can't wait to cheer for him at the showdown in the 7/11 parking lot
@AuntChaotic That's like having a cosmic monstrosity called Zack, or Becky.
@AuntChaotic I always knew he was evil 😔
@AuntChaotic @flglmn 24 deities? No, you just need one UAC Marine
@AuntChaotic So this “demon” just happens to have the same exact name as Sabrina’s cousin on popular witch TV series The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, and no one finds this a little coincidental that witches are the ones exclusively complaining about him.
@AuntChaotic Thinking them Salem witch trial dudes were onto somethn
@AuntChaotic White women will make up entire religions based around magic instead of going to therapy