Random #unrequitedAU thought but : if Sanji ever gets married and/or gets a family zoro would be absolutely enamoured with all of them, wife included, on the simple basis that they make Sanji happy
sanji, handing his first born to zoro : meet your idiot uncle zoro, holding the baby like she's made of crystal, looking at her like it's the single most beautiful thing he's ever seen, before looking up at Sanji with eyes full of love : oh. she looks just like you
zoro is sanji's wife number 1 defender because the woman gave sanji love, and a family, and everything he ever deserved, and zoro Can Never, ever, ever repay her for that
sanji : we're going through a rough patch i'm afraid she'll divorce m- zoro, immediately grabbing sanji's cigarettes and throwing them into the sea before fixing sanji's hair : she told you a MILLION times to stop smoking now you GET IN THERE AND FIX IT BEFORE I KICK YOUR ASS
zoro becomes 'uncle zoro' at the baratie. He babysits the kids as often as he can. He teaches them about swordsmanship and tells them about kuina. one time a stranger asks if he's their dad and he's so inordinately proud and pleased he glows all day
the wife realized what was happening on the literal first day she met him because they announced their engagement to the crew and zoro was the only one who took her aside later on and said 'thank you. He looks so happy. Thank you' despite looking heartbroken
zoro, cuddling sanji's kid with a fond smile : you have the most beautiful blonde hair in the world. And the most beautiful blue eyes, and the prettiest eyebrows- sanji : damn marimo those are all mine, should i blush zoro, smiling fondly at Sanji : nah. they all look ugly on you
sanji's kid asks zoro how they met and zoro goes 'i was all alone for a long, long time. but then i met Luffy and the crew and him. and your daddy protected me, and helped me with my wounds, and fed me the best food in the world, and i was never alone ever again'
zeff and zoro work incredibly well together as baby-sitters, turns out, and bond a lot over the kids. zeff gruffly tells him just once he wouldn't have minded having him as a son in law, in another life. and zoro gives him the saddest smile back
one time, zoro refuses to share a thing the kids told him in secret, and Sanji gets pissed off. Tells him to mind his own business, and get his own damn family, if he wants to play house so bad. Is shocked when zoro actually steps back, and stays away for a year afterward.
he comes back a lot more subdued and quiet. Says something like 'you were right. They're not mine. It won't happen again'. Sanji thinks the wording is really strange and doesn't understand why his wife looks so uncomfortable around zoro now
when they're older, one of the kids, on a whim, dyes his hair green to be 'just like uncle zoro'. zoro looks at this kid with a curly eyebrow and blue eyes and badly dyed green hair and something he thought had quieted down over so many years of silent pain breaks in him.
actually runs his hand through the kid's hair for a silent minute of pure unabated envy, and joy, and pain. imagines for one selfish second it's real. Then takes the kid's hand to show zeff because someone might as well get a good laugh out of this before they shave it off
zoro talking in wano/shimotsuki dialect to the baby in its crib when no one else is around because then he can say 'I love you, I'll always protect you' out loud which he never had the occasion to before
He speaks 'ikujigo' to them which is the equivalent of baby talk in japanese. He has no idea where those instincts came from. He doesn't even remember his mother. He doesn't think anyone ever taught him like that. But everything that he is pushes him to it, and he follows.
he sleeps next to the baby's crib every chance he gets. One time someone tried to grab the baby at night and zoro immediately sat up, put his sword to the guy's throat and went 'don't touch her', all while still asleep. sanji thinks he makes the best guard dog in the world
he gets horribly nervous when the kids start learning to walk. Carries them wordlessly down and up stairs every chance he gets until they're like 10. No one knows why
sanji's second born's first word is when he calls him 'dada', and even though zoro is riddled with guilt he never ever tells anyone
....zoro finding a little orphan kid on his travels and somehow ending up adopting them. He brings them to Sanji like a stray cat bringing their newborn to their owner looking for approval.
He hopes to see the same shared devotion he felt for sanji's kids in sanji's eyes. He wants Sanji to see him in them just like he sees Sanji in his kids and for him to love them too. But Sanji just tells him 'finally you got your own' with a teasing but relieved smile
@gaypiratehell You ripped off my heart out of my chest and broke it to pieces, completely, I’m-
@gaypiratehell Why are you doing this to zoro (and me)??
@gaypiratehell I’m probably gonna a have to sue you one day
@gaypiratehell You did not have to do this to my zoro heart, you should be IN JAIL RIGHT NOW!!!
@gaypiratehell Awww. I actually really love this. Does Sanji’s wife know how Zoro feels?
@gaypiratehell Why do you insist on breaking my heart, damnit?!?!?!?!?!?!? On my way to read some soulmate fluff because this is so heart wrenching wtf 🙁🙁🙁
@gaypiratehell ur on a roll today 😭 this is genuinely heart breaking
@gaypiratehell I cried, like I legit sob like I love it but it pull at all my heart strings and left me a mess
@gaypiratehell Life has no meaning
@gaypiratehell I just wake up and now i'm dead
@gaypiratehell I think this is the first one that’s actually made me cry.
@gaypiratehell Tan triste tan devastada que solo estoy pensando groserias en español. Dios mio porque me trajiste a este hilo es lo mas devastador del mundo
@gaypiratehell I'm literally crying, I have never wanted the death of a character in an AU as much as I now want Sanji’s wife to be gone. I am a horrible person, I know
@gaypiratehell gosh… never thought this would hurt so bad….
@gaypiratehell OMG I AM CRYING STOOOOOOOPP (Don't ever stop)