“… come into the branch to authorize a first time transaction of that amount. This is for your security.” Me: “As the bank is aware, I am presently in the United States, where it is inconvenient to go to one of your branches.” “We are sorry but this is policy.” “Of course.”

Me: “On an entirely different note, I find myself needing to make a transfer of 1,000 yen ($8) to reimburse my friend’s company for the coffee they so generously bought me.” Bank: “Are you sure? The fee for that transaction would be an absurd portion of the price of a coffee.”

Me: “Well, it is the principle of the thing.” Bank: “Of course sir.” Me: “Oh and please check the box to remember their information for future transfers.” Bank: “Of course sir. Can I help you with anything else?” Me: “Yes I would like to make a *second* time transfer to…”

@patio11 You are definitely on a list!

@CJHandmer I still enjoy the fact that there is a small bank in Gifu whose manager kept a dossier on all customers, for continuity of service under the next manager, and how my page has “Mr. McKenzie enjoys the total confidence of the bank.” written on top of a long record of weirdness.

@patio11 It’s kind of miraculous how you turn bureaucratic manoeuvrings into banger tweets. And deeply confusing!

@cellsatwork All in a day’s work for a Japanese regional bank wire transfer compliance influencer. (Strictly speaking they aren’t regional and this wasn’t a wire but I don’t want to have to reprint my business cards.)

@patio11 It might actually do the trick if they are just trying to stop old people from being scammed or something?

@JRPTO This is the motivation behind the policy but the policy does not allow them to e.g. read a share purchase agreement or make use of the fact that the startup is a real company and KYCed by the receiving bank so there is no risk to this sophisticated customer.

@patio11 Did you do this during the same call? How did the operator feel about it?

@RamVasuthevan I have an awful lot of character points thrown into whatever stat governs getting Japanese banks to give me what I want despite being very weird by the standards of most of their customers who keep similar amounts of money in the bank.

@patio11 ngl I love things like this

@patio11 What, they don't need you in person to do paperwork for the Suspicious Activity Report related to what is very clearly structuring? ;-)

@patio11 Alas, the organized criminals the policy was designed to defend against, probably also know all these tricks :(

@patio11 Plot twist!

@patio11 smart

@patio11 Did it work? 😋

@patio11 This is a real story? If so wow, amazing.

@patio11 Oh my god lol. Well done

@patio11 i am imagining this conversation taking place with the same banker at each step, him realizing what you're up to, and happily going along with your solution

@patio11 Funny of rules like this exist in the world.. I once had a telecom company "verify" I was the account holder by sending a SMS message to my phone number, a phone they asked for WHILE I was talking with them, NOT the one on file associated to me account 😅🤣

@patio11 You sir, know how to Japan.

@patio11 Nice. Like the meme to reschedule to cancel an appointment or hotel, but banking

@patio11 God I love the weirdness of Japanese bureaucracy. Hidebound strict rule following, giant obvious loopholes, and everything held together by collective pretence.

@patio11 Oh, no you didn’t! I tried to outsmart the ridiculous systems a few times until one day the teller called my RM and he asked me to be more “gentlemanly”.

@patio11 So they get double the fixed portion of the bank transfer fee? Again we see that rules are only for those who cannot afford to pay. 😉

@patio11 Reminds me of this Reddit story of a South Korean bank https://www.reddit.com/r/Malic...

@patio11 Good ol Japan

@patio11 Brilliant

@patio11 This brightened my day, thx

@patio11 It think they want you to come in person, and then present, with a quick bow, the check in the middle of your outstretched palms. Thus is the Japanese way.

@patio11 very smart of you

@patio11 I love the bit where they go though with the ¥1000 "as a matter of principle", and then obviously cannot backpedal on the second transfer.

@patio11 lol