everytime he catches glimpses of his precious student-turned-s*x-friend-turned-close-friend, he looks just a little bit more broken than the last. so when the i do’s were had and when the kisses were applauded, it should have been no surprise to find yuuji shit faced drunk

during the reception, taking full advantage of the free flow bar. he’s already staggering as the floor opens to everyone, friends and colleagues dancing freely. satoru joins right in, his own body wavering as he sloppily sways to the music, suguru somewhere behind.

right. so hes drunk a bit despite his low tolerance. sue him. anyone would at the sight of dusky brown eyes shuttering off all feeling in the crowd as suguru walked down the aisle. satoru could /feel/ yuuji’s gaze as he slipped the ring onto suguru’s finger. he wonders if the

shaking was because of the momentous occasion or someone else. and so he drinks— to shut out all thought, to numb the buzzing guilt beneath his skin, to hopefully be nauseous enough that he can’t see yuuji amongst the bodies of guests… but it’s not enough. in fact, hes all

satoru can focus on. everyone else is a blur. yuuji has an arm up as he moves to the beat, the other holding onto a cup close to spilling, singing unabashedly with his eyes closed as he feels the music. hes so perfect satoru cant help but be on the move. he slyly makes his way

over to the other, weaving in and out of the crowd as he dances but yuuji’s effect is /so/ much worse up close that satoru stops entirely. yuuji is covered in sweat from exertion, his voice wobbling as it strains, heart pouring out to a love song suguru chose. he has a button

or two open, face flushing from the sheer amount of alcohol, unaware of anyone. hes so beautiful. satoru surges to kiss him. maybe its the liqueur in his veins, or maybe hes always had it in him, satoru isnt sure, but what he does know is that hes never felt anything better

than /this/— yuuji, opening up like a flower, an unflinching second nature, tongue slicking against satoru’s almost immediately. he doesn’t even stop dancing, grinding shakily against satoru’s thigh as he swallows him whole. satoru drinks in as much of yuuji as he can, gripping

the short hairs at the back of the younger’s head. satoru thinks he hears cheering, someone— pulling at his suit— he doesnt— everyone is so clearly /watching/, the clatter and clamour growing around him, but instead he commits to memory the rhythm of yuuji’s breaths, the barely

there whimpers, how yuuji kisses /back/— satoru is unceremoniously ripped away from him. reality slams into them like a truck. his friends—they might not be for long—are in an uproar, surrounding satoru with righteous anger as they yell over one another. nanami, utahime, maki.

the loudest, of course, is suguru— his supposed husband. hes hitting him in the chest, clawing at his tailored suit while he rages, eyes manic to match the absolute filth flying out of his mouth. what the fuck what the fuck what the /fuck/. but satoru doesn’t care, it doesn’t

even matter that he might have just soiled every relationship hes fostered over the years, none of it matters because at the very back of all the chaos stands yuuji, frozen in place, slapped back to sobriety at the gravity of what they’ve done and he looks absolutely /terrified/,

close to tears. his poor boy. he’s probably blaming himself. satoru only moves when yuuji does, fighting against the shouting mass of people— “we’re not done here!” “where do you think you’re-” “just because you’ve-” —to get to him, who’s most likely trying to get away,

to disappear in hopes of diffusing the situation, always always shouldering someone else’s fault. he roughly shrugs off any offending grip trying to get him to stay, focused solely on yuuji who backs away. their eyes meet. yuuji /runs/, and satoru can only follow.

“yuuji!” he pants, the alcohol turning him dizzy as he runs. the world is a blur of light and sound and yuuji’s pink hair becomes his only lifeline. “yuuji, wait!” “no! you should go back!” the boy yells, not slowing down in the slightest. “talk to everyone! i’ll take the blame,

you can still fix this!” “there’s nothing to fix!” the weight of satoru’s age and inebriation finally takes its toll and he stops, squatting as he takes in big gulps of air. yuuji, kind as always, stops too, watching the other from a distance away, breathing hard. “there’s

nothing to fix because-” “no, don’t say it-” “yuuji, i can see it so clearly now-” “you’re /drunk/!” “this is all just one big mista-” yuuji is on him in an instant, tackling then covering satoru’s mouth with both hands. “don’t you dare, gojo-san.” yuuji sears a look right

into satoru, swirling with so many emotions even the nausea cant hide any. “dont you dare throw everything you have away for /me/, especially when i’ve already made my peace,” satoru’s eyes widen. when yuuji thinks he’ll listen, he lets go. “listen..you chose geto-san for a

reason. hes your best friend, he clearly makes you happy in a way that i didn’t. when you-” yuuji’s voice cracks slightly, but he barrels on, always so brave, “when you think about me in 10 years, married and fulfilled, you’ll be glad this was something you traded in.

what we had changed nothing about how you felt in the end, so why chase it /now/ when everything you’ve ever wanted is right there?” satoru’s head is pounding. he isn’t sure from what. satoru’s head hitting the pavement, yuuji’s words, the earlier chaos, the one fucking cup of

alcohol he’s had that just wont leave him alone. the lights, yuuji’s tears, the ringing in his ears, yuuji’s face, yuuji yuuji— yuuji digs his teeth into his lip before he finally seems to break, and plants a kiss on satoru’s temple. it is the most devastating thing.

“so..dont worry about me.” when he moves away, satoru knows its for the last time. this is it, this is his goodbye. no more words are said as yuuji helps him up off the ground. it’s no use regardless. yuuji throws him one last smile before he turns and satoru wants to crumple

all over again. he watches yuuji’s back shrink in the distance, then searches for pink amongst the dots of orange in the night, and even that becomes too hard when the world turns into one massive smear of colour. his eyes burn. satoru thinks he’ll blame that on being drunk too.

//sorry this took so long ueueue it was hard but im glad i finally finished even while burnt out. hopefully this will pull me out of my funk :)) sequel to this will be on the back burner and there will probs be a time skip where they reunite maybe? please tell me what you think

@feltcetera God this is so beautifully devastating 😭 how come I haven't seen this til now?!?! I hope Yuuji heals from this and as for Gojo well...he made his bed so he needs to lay in it. He had the world in his hand and still made the wrong choice