for kabubu, there was never even space for a question to be asked. no one around him ever cared about who he was. only what he did. so he never really got the room to explore his identity. he was taught from the start that his worth depended on how well he performed the role

of a “good wife.” with no one bothering to ask how he felt or who he was, kabu internalizes the belief that he’s some kind of ugly, unlovable creature who doesn’t quite belong anywhere. he might die still not knowing what he is. only that he never fit. that he was always wrong.

hou had more possibilities! he ran away from an abusive home when he was young and quite literally forced himself into niwa’s life by sitting outside his door for almost an entire day. (he could’ve lasted a week, but niwa isn’t that hard to crack.)

he grew up surrounded by niwa’s sword arts and half-finished ideas from discarded books. niwa’s awkward, stumbling attempts to teach him “the ways of femininity” were more comedic than instructive—and that might’ve been his actual first exposure to the ambiguity of gender

and sexuality. before he earned his PhD and became a professor, hou disguised himself under a male pen name and dressed as a man in public. when he finally got into university, he started wearing women’s kimono on formal occasions

so his personal code became: feminine wear = formal, masculine wear = casual. he still uses he/him pronouns because they feel most natural to him. his colleagues see him as a “strict, arrogant, yet charismatic” academic and mostly perceive him as male.

but by age 24, he begins embracing more visible femininity—not just in attire but in expression—and gradually becomes more involved in feminist circles. also, he finds it endlessly amusing to wear an intricate kimono while lecturing a man in western suit.😎

KURO kuro.. doesn’t care what he is, as long as he can unsettle people by simply existing. he goes by he, she, they, or even it if it gets a good reaction. gender, to kuro, is ornamental—just another tool in his gothic chaos aesthetic.

he’s deeply influenced by the influx of western literature and often imagines himself as a serpentine figure—half-demonic, half-divine. the snake in the garden of eden, if you will. 🐍 his family refers to him with feminine titles out of tradition. kuni calls him a ghost.

akahito switches between he and she, depending on the mood or the poem. 🍂 kuni starts off indifferent. being born the “daughter” of the raiden clan comes with privileges—he enjoys the freedom, the admiration, the ceremonial status. but the deeper he grows into the world,

the more suffocated he feels by the “good wife, wise mother” ideology that looms over his every step. he knows it’ll come for him eventually, no matter how high he climbs—and he hates it.

women around him (aside from the ever-doting auntie makoto) are nosy, and all men seem to exist solely to piss him off. he hasn’t exactly labeled himself yet, but over time, his expression leans more and more masculine.

he’s the one I feel would eventually come out very clearly and firmly as a trans man—with an edge sharp enough to sever any expectations placed on him. ☔️ I think he'll turn out similarly to hou since they take on the same academic path.

@mimacbr trans dolly canon… trans dolly canon i love Him