Profile picture of Em🛸 45 days until Hozier
Published: August 5, 2025
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oh shit… using this as a thread for all the things

Image in tweet by Em🛸 45 days until Hozier

ok i of course did not start at the beginning but why is the first thing I find CUM GUTTERS

Image in tweet by Em🛸 45 days until Hozier
Image in tweet by Em🛸 45 days until Hozier
Image in tweet by Em🛸 45 days until Hozier
Image in tweet by Em🛸 45 days until Hozier

well i saw that one coming

Image in tweet by Em🛸 45 days until Hozier

there’s a section in the back with a song for each chapter???? Wondering how these all fit (mama who bore me reprise??? wtf happens in chapter 25?????)

Image in tweet by Em🛸 45 days until Hozier
Image in tweet by Em🛸 45 days until Hozier
Image in tweet by Em🛸 45 days until Hozier
Image in tweet by Em🛸 45 days until Hozier

ok ok im trying to go to sleep but I keep finding random one-liners “I am a human male” 😭😭

Image in tweet by Em🛸 45 days until Hozier

nipple can be hard, yes, but tight????

Image in tweet by Em🛸 45 days until Hozier

she’s described nipples as “tight” at least 4 times wtf is this just a phrase ive never heard before????

so the book opens with clementine on a first date at the restaurant where she works on her lunch break and she’s telling this guy how she doesn’t believe in love. so. great start.

Image in tweet by Em🛸 45 days until Hozier

leaving this one here…

Image in tweet by Em🛸 45 days until Hozier

ok but like this isn’t even subtle??? the dog named Willow with her hair like a willow tree?

Image in tweet by Em🛸 45 days until Hozier

and she just described her MOTHER as “leggy with a perfect bum”

i am twenty three pages into this book and they’ve mentioned her mom’s ass twice now…..

alright so her friend signed a contract to be a backup singer for ~Halloran~ but then got the job as an opener for somebody else and was like “hey my friend Clementine can sing” and they were just like “ok that works” ???

??

Image in tweet by Em🛸 45 days until Hozier

is this fucking play about us????

Image in tweet by Em🛸 45 days until Hozier

what the actual f

Image in tweet by Em🛸 45 days until Hozier
Image in tweet by Em🛸 45 days until Hozier

ok now they’re throwing her out onstage without rehearsing or meeting anybody. good. right.

mind you she just heard all these songs for the first time on the bus like an hour ago and apparently she’s got all these backing vocals down 🙄

ok but wait this is him to a t

Image in tweet by Em🛸 45 days until Hozier
Image in tweet by Em🛸 45 days until Hozier
Image in tweet by Em🛸 45 days until Hozier

there’s a whole conversation about how halloran fans thought one of his songs was about sex but it wasn’t really so he decided to write a song explicitly about sex … sounds familiar

there’s a while scene in this one chapter that’s basically every bad interview moment Hozier’s ever had all rolled into one. it’s a painful read

aw man she changed it

Image in tweet by Em🛸 45 days until Hozier

oh boy we got this book all wrong. it can’t be about Hozier bc Tom Halloran graduated from college.

Image in tweet by Em🛸 45 days until Hozier

oh they’re seeing Hadestown

Image in tweet by Em🛸 45 days until Hozier

ok she has a point here

Image in tweet by Em🛸 45 days until Hozier

now there ain’t NO WAY his fucking EX GIRLFRIEND’S name is EDEN

Image in tweet by Em🛸 45 days until Hozier

what tHE FUCK?? kinda abstract/psychopomp shit is this?????

Image in tweet by Em🛸 45 days until Hozier

oh also Halloran’s manager is a shitty person but he actually fires her in the end… maybe somebody could take some notes……

damn

Image in tweet by Em🛸 45 days until Hozier

his third album…. his unreal unearth….

Image in tweet by Em🛸 45 days until Hozier

fruit…. like how a clementine is a fruit….

Image in tweet by Em🛸 45 days until Hozier

oh hey and Tom Halloran lives in a refurbished historic castle

Image in tweet by Em🛸 45 days until Hozier

@emwillcomeback I’ve never seen this book before. Is that not just Hozier?

@GU1LTTR1PP1NG it’s “halloran” 🙃 (it’s definitely just hozier)

@emwillcomeback i need the spring awakening explanation because what the fuck

@emwillcomeback Oh no this is diabolical

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