Oversharing or overexplaining is often a trauma response very common among survivors of narcissistic abuse — especially for those who were the scapegoat or subject to constant emotional invalidation, gaslighting, or character assassination. This is a trauma-born strategy for
But even after the chaos is gone, the programming remains. Oversharing becomes less about trauma dumping and more about unconsciously giving people too much access to your inner world, intentions, or plans — which leaves you open to manipulation, exploitation, or being
@Ryan_Daigler There's a balance to this: 👉 How do you know half the lies a narcissist has already spread about you?? Many people quietly just believe the smears that you don't even know you have to counter. 👉 One of the most evil and crafty things manipulative narcissists do is lie about
@Ryan_Daigler Stumbling over words, and speaking as fast as you can, due to the layers of lies you're being fed everyday makes it as impossible to help professionals understand how unexplainably outlandish and outrageous they are, behind closed doors.
@Ryan_Daigler Oversharing is often mistaken for openness, when in reality it’s an old defense mechanism. The shift comes when you recognize: you don’t owe anyone access to your thoughts, only those who’ve earned your trust.
@Ryan_Daigler Perhaps I should keep myself to myself.
@Ryan_Daigler Excellent post!
@Ryan_Daigler Yeah, I've been through this.
@Ryan_Daigler It leaves you with an eternal hunger that never gets full filled.
@Ryan_Daigler Thank God for people like yourself who see right through their bullshit because before this shit I truly didn't know much at all about narcissistic abuse, O knew that there was something wrong and had known for a long time, since childhood but I didn't know exactly what it was
@Ryan_Daigler I definitely overthink and share too much. I also remember my mother telling me when I was younger NOT to share too much, that I talked too much and gave out too much information. I wonder if she was just worried if I was going to expose her lies and deceit back then?
@Ryan_Daigler And just to think I remember precisely this mfer telling me I ought to be more transparent and now right here I .this very moment I see why, what a fucking sham. I know I certainly will never look at him the same way as I did before this realization
Narcissists typically have a set of predictable responses when confronted with truths or criticisms they find uncomfortable or threatening. The most common responses will involve issuing the same or similar criticism back to the issuer, (projection and deflection), aggression,
"Well, why didn't you speak up?" They wanted to. They looked everywhere. They saw how people responded to hurt people, and decided it was safer to hurt alone, than potentially take on further hurt. Stop asking this question.
I am a firm believer.
CPTSD recovery mindset is: I see it; I see how I'm reacting; I meet this reaction-- even if it's frustrating-- w/ patience, compassion, & skill. Again, & again, & again-- no matter what's going on. Observe, don't absorb.