I’m not sure what’s worse for a woman - resenting her father, or idolising him to the point of being blind to his sins and flaws when he’s not even half the hero she’s childishly convinced herself he is. One is ugly from hate, the other is in denial of her own heartbreak. Tragic.
What woman has a truly accurate perception of her father (who is always a girls first love) ? They tend to exaggerate the sins or exaggerate the greatness. Both are different ways of coping. I think it is rare for a woman to see her father as the true man that he is.
Show me a woman who can tell you in detail her fathers flaws and failings, whilst also thanking him for what he did right and I will present to you a sober minded unicorn You will generally get resentment or reverence No inbetween This is the issue Women can’t see clearly
It’s actually a red flag if she can’t talk of her father in nonheroic terms Most of you will think otherwise But it means she’s got that “protect my abuser” psychology going on (not saying he’s abusive, just that she reframes his bad into good) The weight of my wisdom is heavy
Being able to reframe bad into good is good to an extent - when it allows tolerance and even appreciation for his imperfection, it is a virtue, but when it enables worship of the egregiously perverse or dysfunctional within him, it is a vice. As with all things - golden mean.