To the countless thousands who started going to church in the wake of Charlie Kirk's assassination: May this Rapture nonsense demonstrate that not all forms of Christianity are equal. Don't buy into this 19th Century heresy, and leave any "church" preaching it. God giving y'all a
I must apologize for clowning on all the Rapture folks. I was wrong. I just got Raptured, perhaps out of spite. If you hear honking from above, know I send my regards. Had to repost. Even from Heaven, the X app is unnavigable. Even God can't fix your app @elonmusk
@elonmusk I just got Word that Catholics are getting left behind to assist St. Michael during the Great Boogaloo. Church Militant reporting for duty. (NGL gettin' FOMO up here.)
@elonmusk For all the people who were saying the Rapture was gonna happen: I got good news and bad news: - Good news: You were right! - Bad news: You didn't make the cut. Better luck next time, Buckos!
@elonmusk Yo, the OrthoBros were right about the Aerial Toll Houses: During the Rapture, people are taken up naked, and if you fell into lust on the way up, you...fell. Pro-Tip: Close your eyes. In unrelated news: I don't see any OrthoBros up here.
@elonmusk WTF, the Church in Heaven doesn't have a website. How am I supposed to know what they believe?