Millionaire in Crypto: - Lives in bali - Virgin - Is on the run from the IRS - Pumps a shitcoin (link in bio) - Tells u Bitcoin is the future but mainly holds altcoins - Has a poster of Michael Saylor in his bedroom - Has Andrew Tate's podcast episodes on auto-download - Has a

Millionaire in Europe: - Married to a German aristocrat - 9 kids - Retired - Hiding Nazi gold under his house - Lives in Zurich - Pays an 80% marginal tax rate - Chain smoker - Drives a Range Rover (diesel) - Knows Greta Thunberg by first name - Spends 5 months a year in Lisbon

Millionaire in Asia: - moved to Europe or America

Millionaire in a third world country: - the govt stole the whole stack - you’re in jail or missing your organs

Millionaire on Mars: - your name is Elon musk

Millionaire on Epstein’s Island: - about to be extorted by the Saudi’s - about to be raided by the FBI in a decade

Millionaire in Jail: - your name is @MartinShkreli, @SBF_FTX, Bill Hwang or Elizabeth Holmes

@MartinShkreli @SBF_FTX Millionaire in Japan: - 9th generation ramen shop or Pachinko owner - you’re into weird anime shit - you still own a Walkman (repaired it 8 times) - you pay $10k USD a month to live in a 20 sqm shitbox in Shinjuku - you’ve worked at the same place for 40 years - Your name is Masa

@MartinShkreli @SBF_FTX Millionaire in Korea: - you got plastic surgery - you are 6 foot - you look pale as an albino - you bought an apartment near the most prestigious school in the Gangnam district (h/t @babybluecream) - you were an extra in Squid Game - you are probably depressed - you’re

@MartinShkreli @SBF_FTX @babybluecream Millionaire in Albania: - your name is Dua Lipa or Mira Murati

@MartinShkreli @SBF_FTX @babybluecream Millionaire in Russia: - your name is Pavel Durov - you got half your shit stolen by the FSB - you were born in the gulag like Bane from Batman 3 - Putin is your uncle - you probably own Chelsea FC

@MartinShkreli @SBF_FTX @babybluecream Millionaire in Saudi Arabia - you shit on a few models (literally)

@MartinShkreli @SBF_FTX @babybluecream Millionaire in Australia: - you own a 25 square metre apartment with no windows or AC

@MartinShkreli @SBF_FTX @babybluecream Millionaire in Zimbabwe: - everyone

@MartinShkreli @SBF_FTX @babybluecream Millionaire in Greece: - no one

@MartinShkreli @SBF_FTX @babybluecream Millionaire on @x - you simp for @elonmusk and @nikitabier - you shitpost for a living - you're chronically online - you can't go 5 mins without checking ur phone - you know more about anon @x creators than your own family/friends - you're unemployed and live off Elon bux - happy

@MartinShkreli @SBF_FTX @babybluecream @X @elonmusk @nikitabier Millionaire in India : - you're the cousin of Mukesh Ambani - you left India as fast as humanly possible - you dated/married a non-Indian (much to your parents dismay) - you secretly love butter chicken (but would never tell anyone) - you're a gold bug - you're a sf tech bro

@MartinShkreli @SBF_FTX @babybluecream @X @elonmusk @nikitabier Millionaire in France: - you got shanked in Gare du Nord by a “Parisian”

@MartinShkreli @SBF_FTX @babybluecream @X @elonmusk @nikitabier Millionaire in China: - You conveniently disappear from the spotlight then resurface after 3 years of “re-education” - The CCP tracks your every move - You religiously use VPN on your Huawei Govt sponsored phone and get tossed in jail

@MartinShkreli @SBF_FTX @babybluecream @X @elonmusk @nikitabier Millionaire in Spain: - you live in Barcelona and walk 20 miles a day - you exclusively eat Paella - you never miss an FC Barca match - your uncle is Amancio Ortega (Zara founder) - you are a pro futsal freestyler - you hate the Portuguese

@MartinShkreli @SBF_FTX @babybluecream @X @elonmusk @nikitabier Millionaire in Sweden: - you have blue eyes and blonde hair and are 6 foot - you work at Spotify - you take 6 months off a year as “annual leave” - you definitely own a Volvo (EV) - none of your friends are minorities - you have a masters degree (like all Swedes) - you hate

@MartinShkreli @SBF_FTX @babybluecream @X @elonmusk @nikitabier Millionaire in Norway: - you were born with skis on your feet - you love oil (but virtue signal that you’re an environmentalist) - you moved to London as soon as you hit 18 - you love dry crusty crackers (Smørrebrød) - you drink 10 gallons of coffee before noon - you’re

@MartinShkreli @SBF_FTX @babybluecream @X @elonmusk @nikitabier Millionaire in Ukraine: - you spent a million dollars buying a second passport to leave Ukraine - you think Zelensky is a fucking idiot

@MartinShkreli @SBF_FTX @babybluecream @X @elonmusk @nikitabier Millionaire in Turkey: - you’re diabetic - you consume way too much coffee and sugar - you live with your aunty

@MartinShkreli @SBF_FTX @babybluecream @X @elonmusk @nikitabier Millionaire in Poland: - you have a model wife and her sole job is to make pierogi in the kitchen all day - you visit museums to look at Polish art that was stolen by nazi germany during WW2 - you have 3 uncles that don’t work but still travel to Monaco every month - you drive a

@MartinShkreli @SBF_FTX @babybluecream @X @elonmusk @nikitabier Millionaire in Medicine: - you're $500k in student loan debt - you studied for 20 years pre-AI era - you're finally debt free in your 40s - you married a nurse (you have no social life) - you calculate how rich you could've been if you went into finance or tech - you regularly

@MartinShkreli @SBF_FTX @babybluecream @X @elonmusk @nikitabier Millionaire in law: - you watched suits as a kid and thought being a lawyer was cool - but instead of being Harvey Spectre you're trawling through thousands of documents in discovery - you work 20 hour days at a magic circle firm getting ground to a pulp - you get verbally

@MartinShkreli @SBF_FTX @babybluecream @X @elonmusk @nikitabier Millionaire in Malaysia: - They don’t exist bc Jho Low & Najib Razak yoinked ur entire pension/retirement funds

@MartinShkreli @SBF_FTX @babybluecream @X @elonmusk @nikitabier Millionaire in Singapore: - probably a billionaire because there are no taxes - eats at a hawker centre daily - still stingy as fuck - speaks broken English - goes to Zouk every Friday - has a shrine of Lee Kuan Yew in his apartment - definitely wears glasses - short king

@MartinShkreli @SBF_FTX @babybluecream @X @elonmusk @nikitabier Millionaire in South Africa: - white - lives in Cape Town - has 90 foot barbed wire fences - owns at least 10 shotguns - never stops at red lights - tells everyone never to come to South Africa - leaves South Africa the first chance they get - knows the govt officials (corrupt

@MartinShkreli @SBF_FTX @babybluecream @X @elonmusk @nikitabier Millionaire in Canada - lives in Toronto - hates Justin Trudeau - loves poutine and ice hockey - speaks fluent French (better than English) - white, blonde and tall - drinks maple syrup like its water - perpetually smiling - secretly wishes they lived in America - skis like a

@MartinShkreli @SBF_FTX @babybluecream @X @elonmusk @nikitabier Millionaire in LA: - either a streamer, film star, a model or a pornstar - takes all their first dates to Griffith Observatory to make out - has the IQ and personality of a rock (but they’re hot asf) - drives PCH every two weeks (mainly for the Insta stories) - went to USC (they

@MartinShkreli @SBF_FTX @babybluecream @X @elonmusk @nikitabier Millionaire in London: - you live in Notting hill and run a hedge fund - you’re on your 2nd marriage - you love a cheeky Nandos - you’re considering moving to Monaco to dodge taxes - you cried for a week when the Queen died - you think people who take the tube are peak poverty -

@MartinShkreli @SBF_FTX @babybluecream @X @elonmusk @nikitabier Millionaire in consulting: - Works 80 hours a week - Spends more time in a Marriott hotel room than they do their own apartment - can recite the MECE framework backwards blindfolded - works as an engagement manager (wants to neck themselves) - B school at Stanford, Insead,

@MartinShkreli @SBF_FTX @babybluecream @X @elonmusk @nikitabier Millionaire in Monaco: - rents an apartment for the tax residency - is never there more than 90 days a year - hates rich people - lives down the road from Charles Leclerc - secretly hates the F1 (but still attends the Monaco Grand Prix every year for the IG pic) - degenerate

@MartinShkreli @SBF_FTX @babybluecream @X @elonmusk @nikitabier Millionaire in Italy: - you riding here tourists swamping Florence - you don’t eat pizza nearly as much as people think (but you do eat a lot of pasta) - you chain smoke more than the French (but don’t let them know) - you never wear sunscreen. Ever. It’s banned. - dinner

@MartinShkreli @SBF_FTX @babybluecream @X @elonmusk @nikitabier Millionaire in VC: - you got in on your “pedigree” (dad owns the firm) - you “advise the world’s best entrepreneurs creating an AI enabled future” but you really sit as a board observer while the GP actually does the work - you’ve got a picture of @HarryStebbings on your wall -

@MartinShkreli @SBF_FTX @babybluecream @X @elonmusk @nikitabier @HarryStebbings Millionaire in IB: - feel like a walking corpse 99% of the time - crippling coke addiction - gets jumpscared by the VP and MD in his dreams - can’t believe the absolute dogshit shitcos your levfin team is pumping - pop out the F1 and caps lock keys on every new keyboard you

@MartinShkreli @SBF_FTX @babybluecream @X @elonmusk @nikitabier @HarryStebbings Millionaire in PE: - you somehow work almost the same hours as the IB guys but for 60% of the pay - you get shafted with the “portfolio management” as the associate on the deal - doing DD on theme parks is the most fun you’ve had in 2 years - the amount of leverage you put on