s: yep, im thinking of eating it a little later mm~ mm,, last night i,, last night- i really thought about it a lot, i contemplated a lot and,, eo,, i contemplated about it a lot and,, but still i, yeah,, to the people who i love, i thought i should still talk honestly so i just

s: yes,, rather than just turning a blind eye and moving on from here, i just wanted to make sure to tell you, yea. because i wanted to make sure to say im sorry for what im apologetic for so,, yep.

s: to be honest, it is correct (to say that) the closer you are (to someone) the more careful you should be,, and yesterday, to be honest it was such a good day right, it was such a good day, it was our jongho’s birthday amongst ourselves, we each individually wished him a happy

s: birthday/celebrated him as well but, if i were to speak honestly, i think i wasn’t able to think more deeply. yep. i think i wasn’t able to think more deeply and for this there is nothing to excuse it and so,,, because everyone/you all love ateez and love jongho,

s: i think i failed to think a bit more detailedly, yes. and so about that point, i wanted to make sure to clearly deliver (the message) that i am sorry so,, yes,, i wanted to make sure to tell you that,, separate from jongho and i being close, since the closer you are to someone

s: it is correct that you should pay more attention/care so,, but because i thought that we were so close that i also just, lightly said ‘ah his birthday passed~’ in a way like that but,, it was a bit,, i did think a lot about it (afterwards)

s: my wording yesterday was also a bit,, i think it was very strong/tough,, i think my wording was very strong as well,, and you guys as well it’s okay you don’t have to unconditionally feel that you must embrace/hold me gently, i really am okay~ i’m okay and

s: firstly, if you think that you are the ones who have hurt me (from the comments), i’m really okay with it all,, i really am okay with it all,, honestly, it is true that my wording was strong/harsh, i was too excited, and too,, comfortable,, i guess that’s why i did it

s: the wording itself was strong/harsh so,, yes, and i never,, i never (intended to) say the things like ‘jolida (sleepy)’ to you guys at all, it is something said between friends and honestly, the wording itself, just hearing it in itself can be a little,, yeah,

s: it made my hesrt feel a bit uncomfortable,, whilst thinking ‘ah, but still,, wouldn’t it have been better if i didn’t say things like that?’ throughout last night, yeah,, it is better to not say things with negative wordings like that, but i was a bit short sighted/

s: didn’t think it through. because my family is very, it’s very harmonious/peaceful, and my mum and dad are very warm (hearted) and so~ my noona (older sister) also sometimes as aegyo, says the words ‘oppa’ like that as aegyo

s: but for that too, i was just too excited and so whilst talking (it just),,, yes,, but what i can very certainly say is,, this i’m not just saying it for the sake of it but in our family, our noona is the noona (older sister), really

s: even though i say it as a joke in that way but, because i now know that that is not right so, i will be careful (moving forward) me saying/telling you this, it really is because to you guys, even if it is a little bit, if there is something i did wrong

s: i just want to talk about it right away, i really want to say/talk about it and,, yep,, if there is something that i did wrong, i hope that you can tell me. there is a part of me that is ignorant and there are so many things that i don’t know so

s: sometimes there are times that i make mistakes right, and so i hope that you can tell me comfortably and so i was contemplating ‘when i should do the live, when i should do the live’,, but i thought in the morning there would be people who are going to work

s: and i thought there would be people who are busy so, after contemplating about it, i came to find you at this time i wanted to make sure to tell you all no~ the emotions that people feel are all different person to person,

s: the would all be different depending on the way that they take it, but my belief is that if even one person like- and also when i look back objectively, if i come to the conclusion that this action was not correct, then for that i wanted to make sure to say it

s: since i did something wrong i should say that i was in the wrong. in front of you guys, what is important about pride (pride is not important) just, when i think about i was wrong for doing the wrong thing so, and so i wanted to make sure to talk to you about it

s: well, this isn’t an apology (only made) because this sort of talk went around a lot and because it was talked about often, it’s because i thought/contemplated about it a lot last night

s: (i thought) was this really the best that i could do? when i thought about it, (i came to the conclusion) that it wasn’t (because you know) being in the wrong is being in the wrong and so if there are people who have been hurt by this even if it’s by a little bit

s: i really really am sorry. i believe that i am still very lacking a bit more, i think that a bit more slowly, if there are parts that i am lacking in i will try and learn i also, the closer i am (to a person), whilst being a bit more careful,

s: i will think about it a few more times and then speak,, yep and if by any chance if it really is okay with you, eo,, i usually,, i,, for fan’s reactions and things like that, i don’t see a lot of it but,, eo,, well, i do look at things like our fromm and tok but,

s: i don’t look at other sns, but,, i woke up and saw it,, and it was a bit, if it is okay with you, eo,, i think it would be good if you could say it a bit more,,, softly i read a lot of messages/words and to be honest,

s: im really okay with it, even if i like, hear a variety of words,, even if i hear very harsh words, im okay but,, since my parents also search (for his name online) so,, i did feel worried about that a bit,, i tell them to never do it

s: but because from the parents (perspective) they are curious right so,, they would search around (for things about san) thinks like ‘san-ah because of this, things like that, i hope you can be a bit cautious about it’s or like ‘ san-ah, things like this,

s: i hope you don’t do do it, it was a little excessive/too much’ things like that is okay in any amount/im okay with any of that, because it is true that i was in the wrong, so i am able to accepted it/take it to be honest, even if i hear that sort of strong/harsh words,

s: i am okay but, in my parents perspective, i feel like they will feel really bad so,, this wouldn’t be just for me, it would be the same for everyone (to see those types of things being said about your own child)

s: anyways, i do think that the comments that i made were a bit hasty/carless, i was too,, i think because i thought i was so close (relationship wise) so i must’ve been too excited,, if your day was even a little bit like,, i really don’t like if i caused you harm,

s: i reallyyy hate it (if he caused harm), that’s why i felt a bit uncomfortable/not at ease and so i wanted to tell you about it honestly and to just move on/jump over it without saying anything, to be honest i didn’t want to do that,, and our relationship honestly,

s: as someone who thinks that our bond is very tight/close-knit, as someone who wants to go together a long long time with you guys, if there was something that i did wrong, i just wanted to (be able to say that) im sorry