Rachael

Inspired by @latelordchatham, here’s my attempt at Napoleonic Dr Seussing:

The marshals numbered twenty six,
Now here are a few simple tricks 
To help you tell them all apart 
With no more ado then let us start:

Marshal Murat loves his fancy hats,
The others think he is a prat!
Is the the one with powdered hair?
No, my friend that’s Bessières!
I guess it’s easy to confuse the two,
That dour fellow? That’s Davout.
No social interaction there, I fear, 
I’d avoid him and Gouvion St-Cyr!

That Gascon there is Bernadotte,
Who Napoleon says he should have shot.
Berthier, ranked number one, 
Would cheerfully have fired the gun!
Now here to brighten up the day
Are Augereau and Mortier! 
They like to shoot out flames...oh no!
I think they’ve wounded Oudinot!

The troops, with precious little urgin’
Nickname Serrurier ‘the Virgin’.
Because he will not let them pillage
When they take a fort or village.
If Massena or Soult’s in town 
They take anything that’s not nailed down!
Brune is just as bad, that’s right...

Macdonald’s father was a Scot,
Poor Jourdan gets ignored a lot, 
&amp; see him there that’s Marshal Ney - 
The bravest of the brave, they say.
While Lannes is so beloved, it’s true,
He addresses Napoleon as ‘tu’. 
There’s Kellerman, Perignon and then
Moncey, Lefebvre: the honest men.

Napoleon is won’t to say
“I wish I had two of Suchet!”
It is not a sentiment you’ll find
He’ll voice with Grouchy or Marmont in mind 
While last of all upon our roll 
Is Poniatowski, noble Pole,
Who, I’m very sad to say,
Had his baton for just 3 days.

So there you have it, all my tricks
To tell apart the twenty six.
I’ve missed out Victor - what a farce!
Well never mind; he was an arse!

Yes I realised that only after I’d posted the whole thread sadly.