Kaleb

Just remembered I have an actual degree specifically in monkeys and am uniquely qualified to address the 100 men vs 1 gorilla discourse

Okay since so many fraudulent primate enthusiasts keep trying to dunk on me, it is not technically incorrect to refer to apes as monkeys, as they share a more recent common ancestor with old world monkeys than they do with new world monkeys 

Thus, either apes evolved from monkeys and are therefore still monkeys (ones that took a slightly different evolutionary path) or monkeys, as a clade, do not actually exist, robbing the term of any phylogenetic utility. I use it synonymously to refer to all anthropoid primates 

Now onto the real question of who’d win: IMO most people drastically overestimate the size, strength, intelligence, endurance, and aggressiveness. Don’t get me wrong they’re incredibly powerful animals, but that it was a debate whether a grizzly could beat one is ridiculous lol

On average a male silverback weighs in at around 300-400 pounds, (largest ever almost 600) still massive, and is probably around 4-5 times stronger than the average man who works out, so we are definitely taking casualties, but this isn’t enough to just rip apart every man

Instantaneously before a couple guys on each limb are able to restrain him. And even so, he’d likely tire out fairly quickly relative to humans who have kinda maxed out our cardio endurance in exchange for the strength other apes have retained. An exhausted gorilla would struggle

To fight like 7 guys, let alone dozens. I think 30-40 men would probably be enough to take on the average silverback, and that’s all assuming he has a counter-instinctual bloodlust rather than fleeing from a large group of aggressors like any wild animal (exc elephants/hippos)

I’ve seen a lot of people argue it’s impossible for us to hurt the gorilla, but we’re their 3rd closest relative, and share a lot of our weaknesses. Denser muscle/thicker skin maybe, but not at all immune to blunt force from fists/kicks especially in soft places

Like the face/neck/internal organs/groin, and rupturing a vital artery is definitely on the table with enough manpower. They’re not going to tank every single hit like idk, a polar bear, likely could

If the gorilla was fighting with maximumly efficient tactics I’d maybe give it a higher threshold of men it could take on, but they’re generally regarded as the least intelligent great apes by primatologists. This is because gorillas are primarily folivores, and the caloric costs

Associated with fueling a powerful brain aren’t as worth it when you’re specializing in leaves, which are easy to find and impossible to monopolize. This also means there’s less fitness benefit conferred by higher position in the social hierarchy for females, so they don’t

Exhibit the complex social dynamics seen in chimps/many monkeys where those with higher social dexterity see greater fitness outcomes. Essentially, they kinda diverged to evolving more towards the direction of weird forest cows than intelligence like us/chimps

Where our most recent common ancestors with chimps focused on fruit, requiring a lot of intelligence/memory to find and time the phenology of, and easy to monopolize, leading to complex social dynamics and enough of a payoff to make dumping calories into brain power worth it

So if a hypothetical gorilla sized chimp existed, I’d probably give it a higher man threshold, but unfortunately, they dont, so not with speculating on

Uhhhh donate to help fund gorilla conservation efforts, if you feel so inclined

https://gorillafund.org/

Okay I’m camped out in the middle of nowhere in the southern Arizona sky islands catching bears right now, and these notifications are killing my phone, so muting this thread

Please support local and international wildlife conservation efforts and tell your representatives to fight back against the attack on our public lands currently being waged by this administration. K thanks bye !

Oh unrelated primate fact: did yall know there are VENOMOUS primates? These weird guys, called lorises have glands in their elbows that secret a toxic oil that they blend with their saliva to use in their bite. Unfortunately common in wildlife smuggling pet trade 