Jakeup

ok, girls, let me mansplain what Existential Kink was girlsplaining

girls only want one of three things in dating:
1. for the wrong guys to leave them alone
2. for the right guy to show up
3. for the current guy to change his ways

these are all achievable, but the problem is... 

the most common trap women fall into is trying to manifest the outcome they want through wishful thinking alone, in part because of fear that other women will judge them for being too direct/strategic

a symptom of being stuck here is a girl going "why won't men just..."

"why won't men just stop pestering me at the gym"

"why won't men grow a backbone and come talk to me when I'm feeling cute"

"why won't men actually listen instead of offering advice"

there's no contradiction, every woman is trying to manifest a change in a different man

a naive guy says: hey, have you tried *practical* thinking instead of magical thinking? identify the problem, make a plan, execute, iterate, and fuck what the other bitches think

women find this yucky and offputting because it robs romance of romance, the man just doesn't get it

EK says: "you can't manifest X because you don't really want X, you're already magically manifesting Y-not-X because that's what you're subconsciously turned on by. also, we girls root for each other to be a bit inappropriate when indulging in what turns you on, that's so hot"

the outcome is the same, the girl stops fighting herself and feeling resentful and opens up to Y-with-a-bit-of-X which is what was always going to make her happier. 

but it has to be phrased as "follow your kinky shadow" and not "stop self-sabotaging in this obvious way, moron"