Ideas and stuff

vase. Chuuya's eyes were like two polished jewels but they didn't shine with life - they just were there. Verlaine sighed, closing his eyes. "I have a table where we can talk" his voice was soothing and it felt better than any caressing "Walk with me" And like a lost sheep

Chuuya followed Verlaine to the table. As they sat down, he noticed the teapot and several cups with the respective dish under each one. After a while Verlaine glanced at Chuuya. "Tea?" And Chuuya nodded as he watched the man pouring the liquid into his cup; he did the same

for his cup and then looked at Chuuya "So... what brought you here, little brother?" He paused "Don't get me wrong it's always a delight to see you Chuuya, but you must have something in mind right now.... don't you?" he said as he mixed the sugar with the tea with a spoon.

Chuuya looked down as he sighed. "I came to you, because you are the only one who can help me" he said and Verlaine's eyes lit up "No one will ever be able to understand me. No one...no one but you... brother." he diverged his attention to the cup as he used his spoon to mix

nothing in special. The smile he offered was kind. "Well, then how can I help you dear brother?" Slowly, Chuuya raised his head and looked inside Verlaine's eyes - deeply and dripping with feelings. "You said people often lie to illude and to foul other people, right?"

Verlaine, nodded slowly. "I didn't. Humans are not trustworthy creatures." then he added with a sigh "Every human but Arthur. He was an incredible human being" his smile illustrated the intensive and burning adoration Verlaine felt for his deceased ex-partner. Chuuya had to

swallow. "You can't trust no one but your allies. Your partner included, correct?" his voice was now a bit higher, but still not too high. His brother, who was sipping his tea, narrowed his eyes, staring at Chuuya silently. Then, he placed the cup on the little dish

as he sighed. "I see... so this is about that guy... what was even his name?" he pretended to think "Ah it was Dazai-kun, wasn't it?" Silence filled the air. Chuuya took a sip and then proceeded. "You were right. You were right about thinking about the future and not the

present." Chuuya admitted as Verlaine watched him attentively "What I have today might not exist tomorrow or it might turn out to be a complete lie." he paused "I was foolish to think that something could last forever." a sigh "People come and go, they do whatever they want

and they don't care about the other's feelings." Verlaine looked at him with an apprehensive expression. "Humans are treacherous creatures. They can't be trusted" he said softly "I told you before, didn't I?" Hesitantly, Chuuya nodded. "You did. But I was too much of a foul

to hear it." he sighed "You were right. I should not give in to my emotions nor should I think about the people who don't give a fuck about my feelings... my emotions..." the tone was significantly sadder and almost disappointed " I shouldn't give in" Verlaine stared at Chuuya,

silently for a while and then opened his mouth. "You don't seem very surprised." he commented "Deep down, you knew one day it would happen, right?" he paused and added softly "You just didn't want to think about that possibility, right?" Chuuya looked away a bit uncomfortable.

"Yes, I am not surprised" he admitted painfully "I have always known that bastard's loyalty was almost nonexistent and that he was a selfish asshole." he paused after those words and Verlaine looked at him with a cautious expression; Chuuya sighed "But I trusted him.

I trusted my life to him and he... he was my partner. He was always someone that I knew that I could rely on, no matter what. And... I thought this meant something to him... at least like it meant to me..." Verlaine stayed silent, but his eyes were filled with memories from a

distant past. A past that Verlaine had not been aware of and he could only dream how Arthur had felt when he betrayed him. So that's why he stayed quiet - he had no word in the matter. "But this was my fault. I didn't think about the future and the possibility of

someone as dishonest as Dazai could leave the organization. Without saying nothing." then he added " And he probably even made fun of me, leaving something behind to annoy me." Chuuya sighed - it was the closest he could do that resembled a cry "So... after what happened... I

decided to think further. I don't want to think about what I am doing at the moment, I don't want people like Dazai to order me around like a sheep dog." his voice was intense and almost emotional; then he added quietly "I want to be responsible for my own actions and thoughts."

Finally Chuuya looked at his brother. "So I am going to ask you the same question I did before-" Verlaine didn't have the strength to answer. "When did I go wrong? Why do these things happen to me?" his voice was restrained, resembling a child who didn't understand the world

"I give everything I have. Take everything. My clothes, my bones, my brain, my power, my emotions... but.... at least let me have some stability in my heart..." a silent and frustrated tear flew from the corner of his eyes "That solonely is enough for me" He lifted the cup up

to his lips, as he closed his eyes, feeling the warmth of the liquid. Verlaine stared a little while at him and then sighed. "Little brother... people, like you said, are cruel. You saw how did that researcher treat you, didn't you?" Verlaine said like he was speaking to

a baby "They are selfish, thirsty for power and they don't bother with everyone else. My partner was not like that, Chuuya." he sighed "I can't say why this happened nor what Dazai-kun was thinking... But..." he smiled gently "I can't bring myself to say that he doesn't care

about you. But you are right that you shouldn't expect anything from people." he said "Chuuya... people will try to benefit from your weaknesses and use your feelings, that's how humans are. I know it" he smiled bitterly "But sometimes... we should give the benefit of doubt to

people's actions. Dazai-kun certainly had a choice to leave." Chuuya looked at Verlaine. "Yes. And I certainly have the right to clean him from my life." "You do. And you would probably be correct, because that guy doesn't seem like someone you can trust." Verlaine said "But..

" he sighed "You shouldn't expect anything good from people. You saw what your sheep friends did, right?" Chuuya stiffened "You saw how the Mafia has been treating you, manipulating you, didn't you?" Chuuya downed his glance "I have told you before but... this world doesn't

you, little brother. You shouldn't give your all and your life to them: you have no guarantee that they will do the same for you" There was no answer. "About thinking further... Well... you can't escape your fate and your existence Chuuya." he leaned back a bit "When you were

16 I gave you a way out and you refused it" he smiled, closing his eyes "And I understand why, but now you have to accept the cruel consequences and this wickedness of this world." his voice was firm and authoritarian; then he softened it "I am here for you, whenever you need"

With this Chuuya was silent. He remembered Verlaine's words like they were yesterday's, inclusively the speech about destiny and his fate. And none of them were pleasant nor tranquil. "The first step to life, is accepting your fate." he explained quietly; he sighed "Chuuya...

there is no happy ending for people like us. Our existence was meant to bring chaos and destruction. When it comes to anything else, we are unqualified for it." he said with an apprehensive tone "Why do you think you are unable to keep a stable relationship? Because you are not

suitable for that. Sure you can temporarily enjoy that feeling, but deep down... you know it won't last... "he raised his glance " am I not right? You knew it would happen with Dazai as well. Like you told me you ignored the future." Chuuya simply pressed his lips together,

seeming to restrain his crying or something else. "Chuuya... little brother... you know I am right correct?" he smiled "You are in the mafia, but for what? What are you doing here? Why did you stay? You might have a lot of reasons but what makes you stay here? What is it?"

"I don't know. I... don't know! I don't know what to do!" he buried his head on his arms "What can I do if I leave the Mafia? Nothing! Everything is lost. I have no choice here, Verlaine." Verlaine could swear that he heard a silent cry, but for his brother 's sake he pretended

not having heard it. "It's too late, isn't it? You understand why I said you should never have been born don't you?" Chuuya raised his head and his eyes were slightly shining "Unfortunately this was the life people gave us. We can't defeat nor fight it." No answer.

"Like a storm. Fate, the end is a storm. We don't know when it will happen but we know for a fact that it will happen" Chuuya looked away "You remember the storm don't you? You can't fight it." "Then what the hell am I supposed to do?! To kill myself like that bastard wants to?

To lock myself away from everything and everyone like you do? To be a cold murderer like half of the Mafia his? Tell me Verlaine, what should I do?!" he vociferated "I don't know what to do. I know what the future awaits me but I don't know what I should do at the moment" he

slammed a hand on the table "I asked you, because.... because I thought you would understand me." "I do Chuuya, I really do" all Verlaine could offer was a smile. "But you can't do nothing to help me... "he muttered. "That's right. I can't do anything" he agreed with a nod.

"Should I just... give in and... " he realized he had stood up with the storm of emotions and sat down with a sigh "....be what people expect me to be? The executive the mafia wants?" "It's your choice little brother, just remember that everything you have today, is temporary."

a kind smile "The storm is certain but you don't know when it will happen. So you won't be able to pack your life before it breaks in" Chuuya sighed, a bitter smile appeared. "Bah, I should have known you would only make things worse" he said a bit disappointed. "Nonsense.

I am not the one making everything worse. Reality is. Life is. It's not something I can control" he looked at him, very seriously "Only you can. If you want to end your journey, do it. If you want to live in this illusion, temporary and dishonest, you can always do it as well"

"I am not locked up here like you are, Verlaine. I have a job to accomplish and expectations to reach, it's never my choice." he sighed "I am staying here, because I have no choice and... and it's not so bad." Finally he stood up "I will just have to clean that bastard from my

mind and memories. And everything will be fine" he smiled without emotions. Verlaine smiled understandingly. "Is that so? Then I wish you the best, little brother" he said, sincerely "You know I am always here to talk" Chuuya, already on his feet, looked at him almost with an